Movie Review 87: Noah

Hello!

Welcome back yet again people of the internets! I just got back from yet another movie! this time it's the 'biblical' epic Noah. I went into it expecting almost exactly what I got.

You decide if thats good or bad.

Movie Review: Noah

Pros:
Darren Aronofski has a very good Director's eye. He knows how to make you feel at ease or on edge. Black Swan was a perfect example of that. Noah is a very well orchestrated film. It goes a lot darker than you expect it would, especially since most people think of it as just a biblical story.

I liked the fact that the movie basically devolved into a family drama. the tensions between noah and his sons was interesting. I found myself caring more about that than about the fact that god's a dick.

Russel Crowe played Noah perfectly, conflicted and complicated but ultimately just there to finish a mission from the creator. I was fascinated by him for most of the movie.

I also really liked that they dealt with knocking the animals out. that's always been a big gripe about the story for me.

Cons:
I've read the story of Noah. It's a good story. Guy is told to make boat, guy makes boat, animals show up, animals get in boat. rain rain rain, boat is the only thing left. It makes a good 'don't be evil' morality tale.

Nowhere in the story do I remember seeing Giant Rock monsters. I mean, when did Treebeard have sex with Optimus prime? They felt out of place in the movie. Every other character was a realistic human, then there are randomly rock monsters... Alright I get they need the explanation about how noah can make this ark in just a few years, but Rock Monsters?

Hell they even looked like old Harryhousen effects, all blocky and slow. I was surprised the filmmakers actually went through with it.

After that the fact that the Cain born guy could stowaway for 9 months was a bit unbelievable. I mean okay, a few days sure, but enough time for Hermione to pop out a couple kids? Nah, I call shenanigans.

And speaking of Emma Watson, she still has a whole lot of Hermione mannerisms. she has the same eyebrow ticks and eye movements.

The last half of the movie Drags on and on. I mean, it's like it tried to be water world but without the interesting world around them.

Final Notes: 
I enjoyed most of the movie. it's slow and full of nonsensical ideas, but I guess it's a good enough adaptation of a really skimpy story to begin with.

FINAL VERDICT: 71
Good acting and directing, but too long, and religious


Now to paint and mold some props!

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