Movie Review 96: Machete Kills

Welcome back

I've been yet again neglecting the blog, so I figured, why not review something. 

I've been putting off this review for a while, I'm getting a little bored with the same review style, so I'm gonna try something a little different. instead of the old Pros and Cons that I've been doing for about a year, yeah I've been doing this for a year, holy crap!

anyway I watched Machete kills a few nights ago, And I need to review it, So let's give this a shot!

Movie Review: Machete Kills

Robert Rodriguez is a very Unique Director, He has some brilliant movies, like Sin City or Once upon a time in Mexico, he even has some fun ones like Grindhouse and Spy kids (the first two, not the last 2). But machete Kills is painful.

I Went into Machete 2 with a very low expectations. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the first one, it was a fun little grind house flick with enough gore and hot babes to be a decent thrill ride. but the second takes the Idea the first had and throws it in the mud.

Machete kills has very poor pacing and it goes all over the place. Machete has aged very poorly, He wasn't all that great of a character in the first, but this one he feels like he's a moronic mongoloid who 'don't do stuff' through the whole thing. Machete is a very uninteresting character in himself. Not many characters with such a negative attitude can carry a film by himself, and even though this movie has tons of little characters, this is machete's movie, and a one not joke like him cannot hold it up as much as he'd like.

Ok, so besides the issues I have with Machete himself I generally liked the rest of the characters. the Chameleon was a fascinating character. I love the idea of a character who can just take off his face and be a new person, even if he or she doesn't know what the next character will be. Cuba gooding junior was fun as his portrayal and I loved Antonio Banderas. Gaga was fine, felt a bit like a throwaway cameo, but it worked well anyway.

Mel Gibson was fun as the evil Baddie, He hasn't played many of them so it was fun to see him go evil. with his public opinion lately he could probably capitalize on it by playing some evil people. just saying.

So, went over actors, mentioned the director. now up to Machete kill's real bread and butter, Babes, and Blood.

First off, if you're watching this to see boobs, you'll be very underwhelmed. The first had quite a few moments of nudity, and I know a lot of people are looking for that in the second, well, tough luck, you get some very nice Lingerie but that's it. Depressing I know, but Alexa Vega looked good, I will say that.

But what about the gore? Well, It's obviously digital. I had the same problem with the latest 300 Movie. It's overly gory but it looks so fake. this is the director of Sin City! We at least deserve him to put out something that looks brutal instead of seeing a digital skeleton covered in blood. it reminds me of the effects from Mars attacks or the Old American Godzilla. and this is like 20 years later, atrocious.

All that being said this might be the point, but if you're purposely making a horrible movie why even bother?

FINAL VERDICT: 20
Fun supporting characters, but nothing else interesting at all.



So that's the review, now i'm gonna do a 1 year celebration type thing, I've reviewed over 100 movies on here, so why not do a whole list of what they are! yeah!

so I'll see you soon!



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