Welcome Back!
Sorry everyone, I've been fighting a wicked case of the Flu for the past week of so, but I'm back in form! I've been course correcting stuff and I'm back on the creative path! Woo!
But before all that nonsense I have to write a quick review of Vampire Academy, the newest Vampire film. It's basically Twilight meets Harry Potter and Airbender. I'll explain shortly enough. So prepare thouselves for a review!...A review of Awesomeness!
I'm saying the review is awesome, not necessarily the movie.
Pros:
I went in with really low expectations, but Laura wanted to see it, so why not. (It's been months since we saw a movie, so I went with it)
I was mildly surprised, even thought it's basically just another vampire movie, it had enough wit and snark (I like that word, Snark) to pull it off. Rose was a fun Juno like character, wisecracks and snarks. Ok I don't think snarks is a word. Snurks? Nah sounds like a rejected Smurfs bad guy. Anyway I liked Rose. She carried the film really well. Even when she's randomly swooning over every random guy. She played the role well and never overcamped it or wood boarded it. (lookin at you Stewart) She made an otherwise laughable movie pretty fun to watch.
Personally I enjoyed the concept of Moroi (they're vampires with a fancy name) Dhampirs (Halfsies) and Strigoi (super vampires? I guess?) The different factions were interesting and I liked the concept of the Vampires, Sorry Moroi, having Half human bodyguards.
Cons:
Now, like every one of the Harry Potter/Twilight Cash grab clones this movie had many issues. I'll break it down individually.
1. Why do the vampires need to use magic? Since when do vampires learn Airbending, firebending, Earthbending and Waterbending (I shit you not) hell they even threw in the power of Heart, err Spirit, to make the Captain planet rip off complete. Never did see a blue skinned man in Spandex though...
2. Ok, so in classic mythology Strigoi are Dead bodies that are turned into Vampires. Or just Wraiths that took over their dead bodies. Not someone who killed while feeding. I'd love to see a movie do a really good Strigoi, all brutal and disturbing. but this movie gave us Vampires with eyeshadow. They're basically nothing more than Vampires that went super saiyan.
3. It's a nitpick but Dimitri has 6 'tick marks' on his neck for killing 'strigoi'. Yet, in basically his first scene he ganks at least 2 of them effortlessly before running off. Shouldn't he have at least 2 more Tick marks? He has only 1 more at the end for killing the insane prom nerd strigoi? do group kills not count? If you get the final blow you get the loot right?
I just referenced League of Legends, kill me
4. Now lets talk about all the things this movie rips off, whether on purpose or on accident.
First is Twilight, a teen movie about vampires. well at least they made reference to it a few times. Once as a backhanded slap to 50 shades of grey somehow too.
Second: Harry Potter, I'm pretty sure those sets were recycled from Hogwarts sets. How many old castles do filmmakers have lying around to shoot the 'otherworldly freaks going to otherworldly school' movies. also...crow at the end is hedwig, think about it. Oh and dear god did the blood writings feel like Chamber of Secrets.
Golden compass, ok ok, noone remembers this movie. Yet it had a cliffhanger ending that made you assume thered be a sequel or three. hah, yep, sounds familiar.
Avatar. Earth, fire, spoon, water, and Air bending. need I say any more?
Hunger Games, they train in basically the exact same type of clothing, and the same moves.
Mean girls. Stop me if you heard this one. Girl comes to school, gets picked on, starts being mean, becomes popular, loses said popularity, then speaks up for herself and is liked again. yeah, and I'm pretty sure there was a Fetch joke as well.
anything with Robodogs. Ok I don't really know where these things came from. randomly there were dogs. with robot eyes. killed by Pyro...ya know, just in an Edward Cullen skin.
Overall the whole movie felt cliched, thrown together and rehashed.
Final Notes:
I enjoyed the movie, but as a reviewer I can't look past the fact that it felt like 'yet another goddamn vampire movie' They tried cobbling together a bunch of things that ultimately made it feel like a teen girl with tourettes and multiple personality disorder. one minute it's a vampire movie, the next it's mean girls shopping for clothes. They just seemed to go off in different directions and forget the plot.
they built up the toughness and ferocity of strigoi through the whole movie. Like how '5 of our best take out one of their worst' OK, interesting, can we see that? instead we get robo dogs, an old man, and a busty nerd Hulking out, killed by a novice and a Sam winchester wannabe. (old man gets a rock to the face, that made me laugh)
Overall it was nothing more than another goddamn vampire movie.
FINAL VERDICT: 34
Well, Rose was cool.
so there ends my rant! now off to be creative or something!
Sorry everyone, I've been fighting a wicked case of the Flu for the past week of so, but I'm back in form! I've been course correcting stuff and I'm back on the creative path! Woo!
But before all that nonsense I have to write a quick review of Vampire Academy, the newest Vampire film. It's basically Twilight meets Harry Potter and Airbender. I'll explain shortly enough. So prepare thouselves for a review!...A review of Awesomeness!
I'm saying the review is awesome, not necessarily the movie.
MOVIE REVIEW: Vampire Academy
I went in with really low expectations, but Laura wanted to see it, so why not. (It's been months since we saw a movie, so I went with it)
I was mildly surprised, even thought it's basically just another vampire movie, it had enough wit and snark (I like that word, Snark) to pull it off. Rose was a fun Juno like character, wisecracks and snarks. Ok I don't think snarks is a word. Snurks? Nah sounds like a rejected Smurfs bad guy. Anyway I liked Rose. She carried the film really well. Even when she's randomly swooning over every random guy. She played the role well and never overcamped it or wood boarded it. (lookin at you Stewart) She made an otherwise laughable movie pretty fun to watch.
Personally I enjoyed the concept of Moroi (they're vampires with a fancy name) Dhampirs (Halfsies) and Strigoi (super vampires? I guess?) The different factions were interesting and I liked the concept of the Vampires, Sorry Moroi, having Half human bodyguards.
Cons:
Now, like every one of the Harry Potter/Twilight Cash grab clones this movie had many issues. I'll break it down individually.
1. Why do the vampires need to use magic? Since when do vampires learn Airbending, firebending, Earthbending and Waterbending (I shit you not) hell they even threw in the power of Heart, err Spirit, to make the Captain planet rip off complete. Never did see a blue skinned man in Spandex though...
2. Ok, so in classic mythology Strigoi are Dead bodies that are turned into Vampires. Or just Wraiths that took over their dead bodies. Not someone who killed while feeding. I'd love to see a movie do a really good Strigoi, all brutal and disturbing. but this movie gave us Vampires with eyeshadow. They're basically nothing more than Vampires that went super saiyan.
3. It's a nitpick but Dimitri has 6 'tick marks' on his neck for killing 'strigoi'. Yet, in basically his first scene he ganks at least 2 of them effortlessly before running off. Shouldn't he have at least 2 more Tick marks? He has only 1 more at the end for killing the insane prom nerd strigoi? do group kills not count? If you get the final blow you get the loot right?
I just referenced League of Legends, kill me
4. Now lets talk about all the things this movie rips off, whether on purpose or on accident.
First is Twilight, a teen movie about vampires. well at least they made reference to it a few times. Once as a backhanded slap to 50 shades of grey somehow too.
Second: Harry Potter, I'm pretty sure those sets were recycled from Hogwarts sets. How many old castles do filmmakers have lying around to shoot the 'otherworldly freaks going to otherworldly school' movies. also...crow at the end is hedwig, think about it. Oh and dear god did the blood writings feel like Chamber of Secrets.
Golden compass, ok ok, noone remembers this movie. Yet it had a cliffhanger ending that made you assume thered be a sequel or three. hah, yep, sounds familiar.
Avatar. Earth, fire, spoon, water, and Air bending. need I say any more?
Hunger Games, they train in basically the exact same type of clothing, and the same moves.
Mean girls. Stop me if you heard this one. Girl comes to school, gets picked on, starts being mean, becomes popular, loses said popularity, then speaks up for herself and is liked again. yeah, and I'm pretty sure there was a Fetch joke as well.
anything with Robodogs. Ok I don't really know where these things came from. randomly there were dogs. with robot eyes. killed by Pyro...ya know, just in an Edward Cullen skin.
Overall the whole movie felt cliched, thrown together and rehashed.
Final Notes:
I enjoyed the movie, but as a reviewer I can't look past the fact that it felt like 'yet another goddamn vampire movie' They tried cobbling together a bunch of things that ultimately made it feel like a teen girl with tourettes and multiple personality disorder. one minute it's a vampire movie, the next it's mean girls shopping for clothes. They just seemed to go off in different directions and forget the plot.
they built up the toughness and ferocity of strigoi through the whole movie. Like how '5 of our best take out one of their worst' OK, interesting, can we see that? instead we get robo dogs, an old man, and a busty nerd Hulking out, killed by a novice and a Sam winchester wannabe. (old man gets a rock to the face, that made me laugh)
Overall it was nothing more than another goddamn vampire movie.
FINAL VERDICT: 34
Well, Rose was cool.
so there ends my rant! now off to be creative or something!
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