well. this was, yep.
So I just finished watching Spy kids 4. and I am amazed that this movie can follow in the same series as the first two, which i Loved, and the atrocious 3rd movie. I guess i was expecting more this time (Drink). but sadly I was Mistaken
And throughout this review, any time (Drink) I say the word time (Drink) i have to drink. I was counting for the last half hour of this movie and I counted them saying time (Drink) 68 times (Drink)
so, review time! (Drink)
(drink)
MOVIE REVIEW: Spy Kids 4D, All the Time (Drink) in the World
Pros:
um, well, I'd be drunk by the end of this if i was actually doing the drinking game...that's a plus.
The movie is very devoid of pros. I went into it with very low expectations and i wasn't disappointed. sure its probably a fun time (Drink) for small children and the time(Drink)keeper had a good sympathetic back story about his father experimenting with time (Drink) and him getting stuck in time (Drink). which helped me understand a little bit about him. but lets face i, I loved Floop from the first spy kids, but this time (Drink) around i just didn't care.
Jessica Alba looks good in tight leather? can I put that as a pro? Ill throw Alexa Vega in the same category. i hope they look as good in Machete kills next time (Drink) they work with Rodriguez.
wow what a weird pro for a kids movie...hmm...
Cons:
oh where do I start? Last time (Drink) I had no Cons, (see my Worlds end review) this time (Drink) I have tons, and i probably wont get to them all.
1. Juni Cortez cant Floopin act. and the last time (Drink) the spy kids were in theatres, spy kids 3, do figure, it was painfully obvious. (yes I actually paid money last time (Drink) to watch spy kids 3) and this time (Drink) he looked like a has been Child actor who awkwardly grew up...a little like Ron weasley
2. Spy Baby....Any Fooglying time (Drink) a spy brings a baby on a mission I go, What kind of Funky mother are you? Why on earth would you bring a baby on a top secret mission to stop a time(Drink)stopping psychopath. And for the love of gorn and all that is holy, why does that fruity baby have to fart in every forking scene? It's not funny the first time (Drink) and its not funny the next 50 times (Drink). I wanted the time(Drink)keeper to shoot the baby point blank then make some stupid pun about how her time (Drink) was up. and this movie would not be against the time (Drink) pun. just like I'm going out of my way to say time (Drink) just so i can drink....time (Drink)
3 the Effects: Now some of the effects were cool, the various gadgets and stuff are fun. except the farting dog, ill get to that soon. but When the trio of actors fall into the giant time (Drink) turner, the falling numbers or whatever literally disappear when they re supposed to hit the ground, seriously? what lame special effect is that.
4. The Gadgets. Yes I know i offhand complimented them last time (Drink), but the gadgets in the spy kids arsenal were all set up for a one off gag that never went anywhere. he uses the fist one time (Drink) and they're out of battery? all the jet packs are aimed at the door after a long drawn out rube goldbergian chain reaction? and what did any of whatever the girl's name is kit do? I cant think of a single time (Drink) that it did anything.
5. the Kids. No idea what they're names were. and other than that one time (Drink) that he turned his hearing aids down, they were horrible. who casts these kids? spend some money finding good kid actors and less on giant CGI stuff and Time (Drink) puns.
Time (Drink)
What else can I go off on? this movie was horrible. whether its acting, all around, the overuse of the word time (Drink) or the general crappiness of the movie. Avoid it at all costs.
6. The dog. Almost forgot, WHY IS THERE A TALKING DOG???? seriously, yeah maybe kids will chuckle from time (Drink) to time (Drink) but all it was there for was a cheap gag here and there. 'lets have the dog Poop Bombs This time (Drink)" :lets have it pee oil" Lets have it fart for no dogdamned reason! then theres the horrible effects of it Very obviously Cgi-ing doors, or any other random attack that its obviously fake. I expect some kind of realism, even in the horrible movies like this. and how did he get switched from Attack mode back to sentry mode only to have to be switched to attack mode again? was there time (Drink) to do that?
7. I am so Happy i didn't have to do the 'scent o rama thing. I shart you not. this movie was in Smell-o-vision, and 3D. I counted at least 6 farting babies, 2 farting kids, and a bunch of other fart related jokes. as well as that time (Drink) the dog farted.....HAHAHA, farting! Yay America! and theres only so many obvious 3D effects that I'll allow before I start punching babies.
Not gonna punch any this time (Drink), but next time (Drink)...maybe
"I'll let you go this time (Drink) but next time (Drink), I'll be deadly Serious Next Time (Drink)"
Anyway, I'm just gonna end it here, I'm sick of this movie, I hate reviewing it, and i wish i was actually drinking.
Final Verdict: 10
Horrible all the way around, but gets nostalgia points for nostalgia
Time
(Drink)
and yes, I'm still self censoring myself....yep
So I just finished watching Spy kids 4. and I am amazed that this movie can follow in the same series as the first two, which i Loved, and the atrocious 3rd movie. I guess i was expecting more this time (Drink). but sadly I was Mistaken
And throughout this review, any time (Drink) I say the word time (Drink) i have to drink. I was counting for the last half hour of this movie and I counted them saying time (Drink) 68 times (Drink)
so, review time! (Drink)
(drink)
MOVIE REVIEW: Spy Kids 4D, All the Time (Drink) in the World
Pros:
um, well, I'd be drunk by the end of this if i was actually doing the drinking game...that's a plus.
The movie is very devoid of pros. I went into it with very low expectations and i wasn't disappointed. sure its probably a fun time (Drink) for small children and the time(Drink)keeper had a good sympathetic back story about his father experimenting with time (Drink) and him getting stuck in time (Drink). which helped me understand a little bit about him. but lets face i, I loved Floop from the first spy kids, but this time (Drink) around i just didn't care.
Jessica Alba looks good in tight leather? can I put that as a pro? Ill throw Alexa Vega in the same category. i hope they look as good in Machete kills next time (Drink) they work with Rodriguez.
wow what a weird pro for a kids movie...hmm...
Cons:
oh where do I start? Last time (Drink) I had no Cons, (see my Worlds end review) this time (Drink) I have tons, and i probably wont get to them all.
1. Juni Cortez cant Floopin act. and the last time (Drink) the spy kids were in theatres, spy kids 3, do figure, it was painfully obvious. (yes I actually paid money last time (Drink) to watch spy kids 3) and this time (Drink) he looked like a has been Child actor who awkwardly grew up...a little like Ron weasley
2. Spy Baby....Any Fooglying time (Drink) a spy brings a baby on a mission I go, What kind of Funky mother are you? Why on earth would you bring a baby on a top secret mission to stop a time(Drink)stopping psychopath. And for the love of gorn and all that is holy, why does that fruity baby have to fart in every forking scene? It's not funny the first time (Drink) and its not funny the next 50 times (Drink). I wanted the time(Drink)keeper to shoot the baby point blank then make some stupid pun about how her time (Drink) was up. and this movie would not be against the time (Drink) pun. just like I'm going out of my way to say time (Drink) just so i can drink....time (Drink)
3 the Effects: Now some of the effects were cool, the various gadgets and stuff are fun. except the farting dog, ill get to that soon. but When the trio of actors fall into the giant time (Drink) turner, the falling numbers or whatever literally disappear when they re supposed to hit the ground, seriously? what lame special effect is that.
4. The Gadgets. Yes I know i offhand complimented them last time (Drink), but the gadgets in the spy kids arsenal were all set up for a one off gag that never went anywhere. he uses the fist one time (Drink) and they're out of battery? all the jet packs are aimed at the door after a long drawn out rube goldbergian chain reaction? and what did any of whatever the girl's name is kit do? I cant think of a single time (Drink) that it did anything.
5. the Kids. No idea what they're names were. and other than that one time (Drink) that he turned his hearing aids down, they were horrible. who casts these kids? spend some money finding good kid actors and less on giant CGI stuff and Time (Drink) puns.
Time (Drink)
What else can I go off on? this movie was horrible. whether its acting, all around, the overuse of the word time (Drink) or the general crappiness of the movie. Avoid it at all costs.
6. The dog. Almost forgot, WHY IS THERE A TALKING DOG???? seriously, yeah maybe kids will chuckle from time (Drink) to time (Drink) but all it was there for was a cheap gag here and there. 'lets have the dog Poop Bombs This time (Drink)" :lets have it pee oil" Lets have it fart for no dogdamned reason! then theres the horrible effects of it Very obviously Cgi-ing doors, or any other random attack that its obviously fake. I expect some kind of realism, even in the horrible movies like this. and how did he get switched from Attack mode back to sentry mode only to have to be switched to attack mode again? was there time (Drink) to do that?
7. I am so Happy i didn't have to do the 'scent o rama thing. I shart you not. this movie was in Smell-o-vision, and 3D. I counted at least 6 farting babies, 2 farting kids, and a bunch of other fart related jokes. as well as that time (Drink) the dog farted.....HAHAHA, farting! Yay America! and theres only so many obvious 3D effects that I'll allow before I start punching babies.
Not gonna punch any this time (Drink), but next time (Drink)...maybe
"I'll let you go this time (Drink) but next time (Drink), I'll be deadly Serious Next Time (Drink)"
Anyway, I'm just gonna end it here, I'm sick of this movie, I hate reviewing it, and i wish i was actually drinking.
Final Verdict: 10
Horrible all the way around, but gets nostalgia points for nostalgia
Time
(Drink)
and yes, I'm still self censoring myself....yep
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